Neurodivergent adults and people stuck in survival/trauma belief loops
Adult ADHD & AuDHD:
The Exhaustion of the Mask
When your brain moves faster than the world expects and you're exhausted from pretending it doesn't.
ADHD showed up early. A constant sense of not fitting in. There was no one to name it, no framework to explain it. Just a constant mismatch between how you functioned and what everyone around you expected.
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You likely compensated with high-functioning anxiety through most of your younger life and adult years, which created hypervigilance, negative thought patterns, and deeply embedded low self-esteem. These symptoms would arrive without warning, often at intense levels, and feel completely disproportionate to what was actually happening around you. Leaving you masking, wondering, and convinced something was fundamentally wrong with you​
You might have tried explaining it to others—that something always felt off—but you couldn't grasp the right words. What came out never matched what you meant, and the responses never fit either. Like you were saying one thing and everyone else was hearing something completely different. Wrong diagnosis, or no diagnosis at all. Just another day where it felt like you were missing something. Like a fuse had blown. Like you were covered with something that didn't let all the information get through. One day, or even one moment, you can do it. The next moment, you can't. Same task. Different experience and you dont know why..
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Fundamentally, nothing was wrong with you, apart from the regulation of certain neurochemicals
Executive Function:
Executive function is your brain's management system it handles planning, prioritizing, starting tasks, switching focus, managing time, controlling impulses, and regulating emotions.
Executive Dysfunction:
Executive dysfunction means these processes don't work reliably: you know what needs doing but can't make yourself start, you lose track of time, you can't filter what's important from what's not, and emotions hit harder than they should.
WHAT IS ADHD IN ADULTS?
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ADHD/AuDHD is the culmination of different biological aspects—specifically a reduction, imbalance, or misfiring of neurochemicals that are needed for regulating many parts of daily life. When those neurochemicals aren’t available or aren’t firing at the moments they’re required, they can directly affect the way we experience things, respond to situations, and manage ourselves.
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What this looks like:
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Forgetting appointments you care about
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Starting 10 projects and finishing none
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Feeling bored and overwhelmed at the same time
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Being called "too sensitive" or "too much"
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Constant mental noise you can't turn off
DO THESE SOUND FAMILIAR?
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Emotional & Social
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Masking/Social Camouflage - Suppressing your natural behavior just to get through the day
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Emotional Dysregulation - Intense reactions that feel too big, too fast
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Rejection Sensitivity (RSD) - Perceived criticism feels like a gut punch
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Impulsivity in Speech - Interrupting because thoughts fire faster than you can hold them
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Difficulty Reading Social Cues - Misinterpreting people and replaying conversations for hours
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Physical & Mental
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Internal Restlessness/Anxiety - Your body won't settle even when you want to rest
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Sleep Disturbances - Waking unrefreshed no matter how long you sleep
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Overthinking/Rumination - Persistent negative mental loops you can't escape
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Low Frustration Tolerance - Easily overwhelmed by tasks others find simple
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Chronic Fatigue or Burnout - Mental and physical exhaustion from constantly compensating
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Executive Function
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Starting tasks feels impossible - Even things you want to do
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Time blindness - Hours vanish or drag depending on interest level
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Decision paralysis - Too many options = shutdown
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Working memory issues - Forgetting what you were doing mid-task
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Task switching difficulty - Can't transition smoothly between activities
WHY ADHD IS EXHAUSTING
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It's not the ADHD itself that's exhausting. It's the constant effort to appear "normal."
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You're running background processes 24/7:
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Monitoring your behavior (Am I talking too much? Too loud? Too weird?)
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Compensating for executive function gaps (lists, alarms, reminders that don't work)
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Managing emotional intensity (hiding feelings to avoid being "too much")
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Forcing focus on things your brain finds unstimulating (while beating yourself up for struggling)
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Masking is survival. But it's also slow-motion burnout.
And here's the part nobody talks about: Many people with ADHD also develop hypervigilance, anxiety, and trauma responses from years of feeling like they're failing at basic life tasks.
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The beliefs get embedded:
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"I'm lazy"
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"I'm unreliable"
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"I always let people down"
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"Something is fundamentally wrong with me"
What it actually is:
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Executive function differences (not laziness)
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Interest-based motivation (not lack of discipline)
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Emotional intensity (not weakness)
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Hyperfocus and distractibility (not inconsistency)
Together, these approaches don't "cure" ADHD. They help you work WITH your brain instead of fighting it. They release the shame, regulate the nervous system, and build systems that actually fit how you operate.
HOW I SUPPORT ADHD
I don’t treat ADHD as something to “fix.” I work with the beliefs, patterns, and nervous system responses that develop from living with undiagnosed or unsupported ADHD over many years, the parts of you that learned to cope, mask, push, or shut down.
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Advanced EFT / Matrix Reimprinting - Primary Approach
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Advanced EFT is my main method for ADHD-related work because it regulates the nervous system in real time. ADHD often comes with chronic stress, emotional intensity, and a lifetime of being misunderstood. EFT helps calm that activation, release shame and self-judgment stored in the body, and process the overwhelm that comes with RSD and emotional dysregulation.
Matrix Reimprinting allows us to work gently with earlier experiences, updating the emotional imprint so your system can respond from safety rather than survival. This is the core of my work , fast access, deep regulation, and long-term emotional change.
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Clinical Hypnotherapy - Available as a complementary option
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For those who prefer a subconscious, guided approach, hypnotherapy can support the same goals. It helps reprogram beliefs like “I’m lazy” or “I always mess things up,” and reframes past experiences where ADHD traits were punished or misunderstood.
WHO THIS WORKS FOR
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This approach works especially well if you:
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Were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult
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Have been masking your entire life
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Experience RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)
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Struggle with shame and self-judgment around ADHD
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Have both ADHD and autism (AuDHD)
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Are burnt out from trying to be "normal"
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Want to work WITH your brain, not against it
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This might not be right if you:
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Want strategies only (apps, productivity hacks) - I offer belief work, not time management coaching
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Need ADHD diagnosis or medication management, I work alongside doctors, not instead of them
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Aren't willing to question the "I'm broken" narrative
WHAT CHANGES LOOK LIKE​
Early sessions (1-3):
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You start recognizing when you're masking vs being authentic
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Shame around ADHD traits begins to lift
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You catch yourself in negative self-talk and reframe it
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Middle sessions (4-6):
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You stop apologizing for being "too much"
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Task initiation feels less impossible
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Emotional reactions feel more manageable
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You build systems that work for YOUR brain, not neurotypical brains
Later sessions (6+):
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You trust yourself more
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Masking decreases—you show up more authentically
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Rejection sensitivity softens
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You communicate needs without shame
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You recognize your ADHD as difference, not deficit
Divya - India
My EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) session with Phil was a transformative experience. I've been struggling with stress, anxiety, and various mental blockages that I hadn’t fully recognized. Through his guidance, Phil helped me release these deeply rooted emotions. Afterward, I felt incredibly light, as if all the brain fog had lifted, leaving me with a newfound mental clarity and space for creativity.
Kirsten - Holland
Phil is a kind and intuitive EFT practitioner. He helped me immensely. He held the space for me to work through my stuff whilst being there when I needed guidance and support. Good session. Definitely recommend! Thank you Phil!
Merillee - USA
My time working with Phillip has changed my life. He is very good at getting to the real issue. He brings out exactly what needs to be resolved and then helps me to release the emotional patterns and thoughts that hold me back in life. Thank you Phillip for being there for me and making such a huge difference in my life.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Can EFT/Matrix help with ADHD focus and executive function?
Yes. EFT and Matrix Reimprinting work directly with the nervous system patterns that make focus and regulation harder. When your system isn’t stuck in stress, shame, or self‑criticism, focus often improves naturally. Hypnotherapy is available as an additional option, but EFT is usually the most effective starting point for ADHD‑related challenges.
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Will this replace my ADHD medication?
No. This work is designed to support your medication, not replace it. Many clients notice their nervous system becomes more regulated over time, which can change how their medication feels — but any adjustments are always made with your prescribing doctor.
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What if I'm not diagnosed but suspect I have ADHD?
You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit. I work with the patterns, beliefs, and emotional responses that are causing difficulty, regardless of labels. If you want a formal assessment, I can point you toward trusted specialists.
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Do you work with people who have both ADHD and autism (AuDHD)?
Yes. Many of my clients are AuDHD. The sensory overwhelm, masking, burnout, and emotional intensity often overlap — and EFT/Matrix are particularly effective for calming the nervous system and reducing internal pressure.
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How is this different from ADHD coaching?
ADHD coaching focuses on strategies: planners, routines, accountability. My work focuses on the internal system — the subconscious beliefs, emotional imprints, and nervous system responses that make those strategies hard to maintain. Both are valuable, but this work goes deeper.
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Can you help with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)?
Yes. RSD is one of the most painful parts of ADHD, and it responds extremely well to EFT and Matrix Reimprinting. We work directly with the nervous system’s threat response to perceived rejection, helping it shift from overwhelm to safety.
Hypnotherapy can support this too, but EFT is usually the most immediate and effective tool.
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH ADHD
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ADHD showed up early in my life—chaos, confusion, never quite fitting in. No one could name it. No framework to explain it. Just a constant mismatch between how I functioned and what the world expected.
But ADHD also gave me distinct advantages: creative leaps, pattern recognition, emotional depth. If those strengths had been recognized earlier, everything could have been different.
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I know what it's like to:
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Feel like you're failing at basic adult tasks
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Mask so hard you forget who you are underneath
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Get called "lazy" when you're actually overwhelmed
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Start 100 projects and finish none
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Feel emotions so intensely it's physically painful
It’s not that you don’t understand. It’s that something isn’t connecting.”
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Imagine your mind like a circuit board, full of pathways, switches, and fuses. Most are working. You know the information is there. You know what you want to do. But one crucial fuse isn’t firing. The signal doesn’t bridge the gap.
You’re left in a strange limbo: aware, capable, but stuck. Not because you’re broken but because the system is overloaded, miswired, or paused mid-loop.
This is what executive dysfunction feels like. It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of effort. It’s a moment where intention and action lose their handshake.
I'm not guessing at what you're experiencing. I've lived it.
And I've learned how to work WITH my ADHD brain, not by becoming neurotypical, but by rewiring the shame, regulating the nervous system, and building systems that actually fit how I operate.
READY TO START?
Book a free 20-minute consultation. We'll talk about what you're struggling with and whether this approach is right for you.